Parents ask me all the time when I think their children will be ready for e-mail, IM, a cell phone or Facebook account. Here are my recommendations …

Let’s face it, even if we do not allow our children to have a cell phone, e-mail, IM or social networking account, they are not under our direct supervision 100% of the time. It’s hard to keep them in the dark.

Let’s look at it this way… When your 8-year old daughter comes to you and says, “Mom, I want an IM account, all my friends have one and I need one too,”  treat this request with respect but do your homework first!

Before your child uses any new technology you need to try it out.  If you are uncomfortable using technology then ask your child to show you how it works.

Ask them these questions:

Why do you need IM?

Who will you be talking to?

What do you know about being safe while using IM?

How much time will you use IM?

A child is only ready for the technology when he or she can explain how it works and what they will do with it.  You need to set up some ground rules first for example not using profanity, having time limitations, and knowing who is on their buddy list. The SAME questions and rules you set up in the physical world should apply here. If your children are NOT ready to understand this, then they are not ready for the technology.

I once had an 11-year old tell me that he wanted an e-mail account and his mom said NO.  I was a little surprised so I asked the mom why she felt that way.  She simply turned to her son in front of me and said, “ What would you do if a stranger offered to give you some video games, but only if you came to his house?” The boy said, “Well I would go- free video games.”

I turned to the mom and said, “He’s not ready for e-mail.”

Every child is different and YOU know your child best. If you are going to talk about the new technology with your kids you need to understand it yourself. For example,  if your kids want a Club Penguin account, then you need to be able to talk about what goes on in the Arctic chat room.  As they get older, and want a Facebook account (which by the way, Facebook dictates they must be 13 or in high school before opening an account) then you need to be able to talk to them about the News Feed and tagging photos.  If you don’t know what these things are or what they mean how can you decide how you feel about them and if they are appropriate for your child.

(To learn more about Facebook please see the video on Facebook Basics at yourcec.org).

Whether we are talking about cell phones, IM accounts or social networking sites, time management should ALWAYS be a factor in deciding what is right for your child. Make sure your children understand what is expected of them, not only in regard to the technology, but also in regard to their behavior. You want to set the rules, explain the rules and then stick to them. Remember, you need to do your research as well.  That way you know the positives and negatives and can set appropriate rules and expectations.