Today’s young people are known as Digital Natives. Their brains are physically wired differently from us as parents and therefore they think and behave in a manner that sometimes seems foreign. As parents, we need to stop fighting their involvement in technology and begin talking.

Try some of these cyber-parenting tips:

1) Treat the behavior not just the technology: Find out WHY your children are online as much as they are. Ask them the same questions you would ask if they were on the phone incessantly!  Who are you talking to, what is so important that you can’t disconnect?  If they are gaming or making friends online you want to know why! Are there things going on at school causing them to look to other sources of friendships?  If your child is having a hard time disconnecting long enough to talk to you, try it their way.  Send them a text message or IM asking them about their day.  You might be surprised at how quickly they respond and it may bring them back to the physical world where you can have a face-to-face conversation.  Show them that you are interested in their world but at the same time they need to meet you half way.

2) Remember that the Internet is a system connecting every computer, mobile device, PSP, DS, X-box live, iPod touch and everything else that goes online, together. When your kids go online they are opening themselves up to the entire world. Would you let your kids walk out the front door without asking where they are going and whom they are going with? If not, then why would you let them wander the entire world of cyberspace and not ask those same questions.

3) Experts agree the computer belongs in a public area of the home. When the computer is in a public place in the home your children sense they are being observed. The more time children, tweens and teens are online, the more opportunity there is to be exposed to inappropriate content, cyber-bullying, online predators, or become a victim of Internet addiction. Children’s time on the computer needs to be monitored.

When this rule is put in place early on, there is little discussion about why.  It’s just where the computer belongs.

When there are older children in the house this rule is not so cut and dry.  You need to invoke the same parenting parameters when it comes to privacy in the cyber world as you do in the physical world.  Young children should NEVER be left at the computer alone while older children who respect the boundaries are afforded more responsibility and more privacy.

You need to always remember that we are applying the same parenting skills we use in the physical world when we parent in the cyber world.  As your children get older and become more responsible the rules can change. Why do we make kids wait to drive until they are 16?  They may be physically capable at 12 or 13, I wasn’t, I couldn’t reach the pedals even at 16, but that’s beside the point.

We make them wait because cognitively they are not ready for the responsibility that comes with taking 3000 lbs of machinery down a highway at 65 miles an hour.  But as they get older, and demonstrate their ability to make better decisions, we allow them more freedom.

Keep that in mind as you sit down and discuss YOUR expectations when it comes to responsible Internet use, we need to talk about the behavior and NOT just the technology!

4) STOP- BLOCK and REPORT Cyber-bullying. If your child is a victim of cyber-bullying you should encourage them to Stop- do not respond to the bully. Block- stop the bully from sending any more messages. Report- Tell you or another trusted adult about the incident. The victim, who in this case is your child, should print out the ENTIRE conversation and show it to you. That way you can help your child process the information and make the best decision about how to handle the situation. It may include having your child confront the bully face-to-face, calling the parent of the bully, or even getting the school involved. One thing to remember as the parent, the TECHNOLOGY IS NOT THE CULPRIT, it’s the person behind the technology.

Children report not telling their parents about cyber-bullying for fear the parents will take away the technology. It is important to remember the technology did not cause the problem.  Support your child and help them decide the best course of action in dealing with the situation.

5) Nothing good happens after bedtime!  And I am talking about your bedtime, not your child’s. The majority of Internet related problems I come across happen late at night after the parents go to bed and the children are alone with a computer or other device that connects to the Internet! Even the BEST kids make bad decisions. It is best to set up the rules about Internet use early and talk about them often.