Before the Internet, child predators had to “groom” their victims in person — often taking weeks or months to gain the trust of their prey.

The Internet allowed pedophiles a whole new way to access children — by pretending to be other kids, they can specifically target children in order to lure them into dangerous situations.

And now, if that wasn’t bad enough, child predators have found a new, and more disturbing, way to get close to your children — through you.

This disturbing trend was first brought to my attention during a causal lunch date with a friend who works in law enforcement, specifically with Internet crimes against children.  I was asking about how viable of a threat predators still are considering all of the Dateline episodes and new ways to monitor activity online.  He all about laughed at me, how naive to think predators are not a serious threat.  And then he told me this… Why would a predator waste his time getting to know one child at a time when it’s much faster to meet adults (parents and teachers) that can act as a conduit to children.  If you can groom one adult and they trust you, all or the children who trust that adult will also trust the predator.

He went on to give me an example of how this “might” happen (he was not at liberty to give me specific information about open cases). I will sum up the rest of the conversation with a factious yet plausible example.

You are a new parent again, you already have a 4-year-old, and now you have a beautiful new baby who just won’t sleep. You don’t remember having this same issue with the older one (we all know how amnesia sets in), and you are desperate for sleep. It’s 3 AM and you are searching for answers on the Internet.

You come across a parenting networking site where you can ask questions of experts and get advice from other parents dealing with similar issues. A young dad logs in and sees your desperate post about sleep training. He knows the perfect person to help you. He even sends you a message through the system with the sleep trainer’s name and phone number and his personal e-mail address in case you need more support. You are grateful for the advice, log off, and wait for morning to call the sleep trainer for help.

To be polite, you send the dad a thank-you note, and after a few e-mail exchanges, you realize you two have a lot in common. Your kids are the same age; you live near one another and even play at the same park. So you set up a playdate. However, when your new friend arrives, he tells you the kids got sick but he wanted to come by and say hello in person. You are excited to introduce your new friend to the other parents at the park and subsequently your children and all of your friends’ kids too.

STOP! You may have just let a predator into your life, and because you trust this person, so will your children.

According to my source, predators are lurking in parenting networking sites, teachers’ forums, and anywhere else they believe they can cultivate relationships with adults that may lead them to children.  After my initial article on this topic was published on momlogic.com, I received an e-mail from a women telling me just how true this really is and that it had happened to her.  She told me her story of accidentally letting someone she trusted online, into her life and the lives of her children.

Once a child trusts a predator, it is easy for the predator to manipulate that child. Using the friendship and trust the predator has established with the adult can actually be used against the child. “Your mommy sent me to pick you up. Remember me? She introduced us at the park.”

Recently in Pheonix, AR two women met on Craiglist.  Both claimed to be pregnant and they developed an online friendship.  When one of the woman offered baby clothes to the other, the other woman was happy to go and pick them up.  However when she arrived at the home, the new “friend” was not preganant and proceeded to cut the unborn baby out of her.  Both the mother and the child died.

Although this is an extreme example it is a glaring reminder that we, as adults, need to be careful who we let into our lives and the lives of our children.  This article is not meant to insight panic.  We are NOT on the verge of an epidemic, we can control this situation!

It is important that we keep these few tips in mind the next time we log onto any site where we can communicate with strangers:

1. Create a screen name that does not give away personal information. Your online name should consist of random letters and numbers and not your real name or the names of your kids. Do not give anyone an opportunity to use your personal information in your screen name to strike up a conversation.

2. Use a pseudo-identity. Use a fake name every time you set up an online account for any networking site, forum, blog, or wiki.

3. Never give an online stranger the opportunity to meet you or your children face-to-face. Like I say to the kids, it’s better to hurt someone’s feelings than put you or your family in harm’s way.

4. Report suspicious behavior. Just use common sense here. If you see something on a forum that looks suspicious or makes you uncomfortable, contact the webmaster immediately!

Parenting networks, teacher forums, and help columns are great ways to get information — just don’t use them to make new friends!