After watching her impressive demonstration of how to handle strangers, I asked her about strangers online. She looked at me, quite puzzled. “What do you mean? I only play kid games, so I’m only talking to other kids. I would never go into a grown-up chat room and tell strangers where I live or how old I am. That wouldn’t be safe!”
Ella is a big “gamer.” She spends countless hours on DSi and X-box live, and used to play Club Penguin, “when I was younger …,” said the 8-year-old.

While I have no problem with any of these games, it’s important that parents understand all of these games have a component where players can chat with other players. And while all of these games are meant for kids, predators who are interested in meeting children are going to go where the kids go. Strangers are strangers, and even if they are only saying hi or playing a game, we are teaching our kids that the rules are different online than in the physical world! Your child doesn’t know if that cute little penguin is an 8-year-old girl or a 50-year-old pedophile. Your opponent on DSi could be a registered sex offender in your area (you have to be within 65 feet of the user in order to use the chat component).

We are sending our children mixed messages about stranger awareness. It’s not okay to talk to an adult stranger in the park, but it is okay to talk to a completely anonymous individual that may be an Internet predator?

With young children, I explain that there are adults in this world that do not know how to have relationships with other adults, so they’d rather have them with children. My young audience will usually crinkle their faces and tell me, “That’s gross!”
Our kids don’t realize that they are playing a dangerous game when they “friend” total strangers. These predators are tricky. They find ways to connect with your kids, telling your children they like the same things, go to the same places, and obviously play the same games. The predators always point out how much they have in common. The process is called “grooming.” Although your child may feel safe in the comfort of their own home, they are potentially letting a predator into their lives.
Help your children find a group of friends they know from the physical world and set up a time for them to play together (not too long, there’s homework and chores to be done). We need to teach our children that it is not impolite to ignore strangers online or choose NOT to play with them. It’s SAFE!

Do you remember a time in your life when you would have done anything to get the attention of a boy? Spending hours on your hair and makeup, making sure to stand, dress, giggle, and talk exactly the way you thought he would have wanted you to? Do you remember a time when everything you did and said felt awkward, but if the boy you liked thought it was “rad,” then you did, too?

Now imagine you are growing up in 2009 … where all of these insecurities are caught on camera and your most private moments are uploaded for the world to see. This is what our children face today.

“I thought it was the end of the world,” says 15-year-old Emily [all names have been changed to protect teens' identities], as she told me the story of how a naked video of her ended up all over the Internet.

Emily met David at summer camp when she was 13. She was shy and a little insecure about her looks, so she was thrilled when this 16-year-old boy noticed her. They were friendly all summer, but their relationship grew after camp ended. David contacted Emily through MySpace, and she added him on her page. David became more forthright about his feelings for Emily online, calling her “babe” in comments and private messages, and talking about how “hot” she was.

“To me, the word ‘babe’ is a couples’ word,” said Emily. She believed his intent was to develop a real relationship. After many online exchanges (but nothing face-to-face, as Emily knew her parents would not approve of her dating an older boy), things got more intense.

“He wanted me to send him a naked video of myself … I was embarrassed … I didn’t want to do it, so I sent him a picture of my butt…. I thought giving him less than what he really wanted was OK.”

After she sent the picture, David began pressuring Emily for more. He said the pictures of her butt made him so horny and he needed to see the rest of her. He talked about how beautiful she was and made her feel very special. Reluctantly, Emily took her family’s camcorder, and videotaped herself dancing topless. She then uploaded the video and sent it off to David.

David insisted that he was not receiving the video and talked Emily into resending it through several different applications. Emily used 4 different sites to get the video to David before she finally gave up, thinking it never went through. David seemed angry at the time and stopped messaging Emily for a while.

Months went by and occasionally David would message her through MySpace asking her to hang out. Emily would ignore the messages or just simply decline. Then one day, Emily got a phone call from her best friend.

“You made a porno and you didn’t tell me!” said the best friend. Emily had no idea what her friend was talking about. The girl explained that she had opened her Facebook page earlier that day to find a link in her Honesty Box with a message attached: “You think you know your best friend? Your best friend’s a slut!”

The link took her to an amateur pornography website where her best friend was dancing topless in front of the camera. Emily was mortified. This was the video she had sent to David.

“My whole high school knew about it,” said Emily. “I was stared at, whispered about … people never would have guessed that I would have done that. But what was really killing me was thinking about what would happen if my parents found out.”

Emily jumped every time the phone rang at her house. She was having little panic attacks thinking about the day her parents would discover their perfect daughter was a disappointment. “It was interfering with my life … I couldn’t trust anyone. I had a huge wall up,” Emily admitted.

After months of closing herself off from both her family and friends, Emily finally realized she had to tell someone. She first contacted me after her best friend heard me speak at her high school. Emily needed to tell someone, and I was far enough removed from the situation that she thought it would be safe. I finally convinced Emily to talk to her school counselor, who then spoke with her parents (with Emily’s permission).

“My mom hugged me,” Emily repeated three times as she told me the story. “I expected my parents to be very disappointed, not talk to me, to cry — maybe they did, but not in front of me. If anything, they were upset that I had tried to protect them instead of them protecting me.”

Emily’s story is not uncommon. Teens today do not understand the ramifications of Sexting, or Sexcasting. Sexting is sending nude photos via text messages, and Sexcasting is the act of sending nude photos or video via webcasting. No matter what you call it, when children participate in this act, it’s child pornography. Some children who have participated in sexting have been prosecuted for the production and distribution of child pornography and are now registered sex offenders.

Other consequences of sexting can range from a few stares and malicious gossip to suicide. At the end of the interview, Emily said to me, “I’m lucky this happened to me in L.A. Everyone is so caught up in their own stuff, no one really gave me that hard of a time about it. Did you hear about the girl at Syracuse?” Emily was referring to Jessica Logan, originally from Cincinnati, Ohio, who was attending college at Syracuse. While in high school, Jessica had sent nude photos of herself to her boyfriend that were then circulated around her high school. After returning home from college for a friends’ funeral, the pressure became too much and Jessica hung herself in her parents’ home.

When I asked Emily why she sent the video in the first place, she stopped and thought for a moment. “I don’t know really,” she said. “He kept telling me how hot I was. Sometimes he talked about what we would do if we were actually together. I wasn’t ready for that. I thought this would satisfy him.”

Today, after talking to a counselor and her friends about what happened to her, Emily feels a sense of obligation to let other girls know how important it is to think before you send. “I had to stop blaming myself in order to face what I did,” she says. “I made a mistake and the worst part was trying to keep a secret that everyone already knew about. I was manipulated. He could have fooled anyone.”

I asked Emily what she thought could be done to help other young people from falling into the same trap.

“It’s an issue that needs to be talked about as soon as middle school,” she says. “And our parents don’t understand. They are so overwhelmed with the technology, so they just don’t talk about it. We’re given condoms in health class and told how to use them, but no one talks about this. Do we have to make the mistake in order to learn about it?”

Emily and her parents contacted the local police department and they worked diligently to remove as much of the video as they could find. The case against David as the distributor of child pornography is still open. Emily has found comfort in the fact that she no longer needs to keep this from her parents. She is now focusing on her poetry, painting, drawing, and running track.

Click here to listen.

Lori Getz, joins Elsa Clark of LA Talk Radio in a discussion on the role social networking plays in college admissions and retention as well as how these sites can affect students in general – in every area of their lives.

The conversation focuses on the parents’ role in raising their children in this technological age.

For further information on Elsa’s show on LA Talk Radio, visit her site.

Try some of these cyber-parenting tips:

1) Treat the behavior not just the technology: Find out WHY your children are online as much as they are. Ask them the same questions you would ask if they were on the phone incessantly!  Who are you talking to, what is so important that you can’t disconnect?  If they are gaming or making friends online you want to know why! Are there things going on at school causing them to look to other sources of friendships?  If your child is having a hard time disconnecting long enough to talk to you, try it their way.  Send them a text message or IM asking them about their day.  You might be surprised at how quickly they respond and it may bring them back to the physical world where you can have a face-to-face conversation.  Show them that you are interested in their world but at the same time they need to meet you half way.

2) Remember that the Internet is a system connecting every computer, mobile device, PSP, DS, X-box live, iPod touch and everything else that goes online, together. When your kids go online they are opening themselves up to the entire world. Would you let your kids walk out the front door without asking where they are going and whom they are going with? If not, then why would you let them wander the entire world of cyberspace and not ask those same questions.

3) Experts agree the computer belongs in a public area of the home. When the computer is in a public place in the home your children sense they are being observed. The more time children, tweens and teens are online, the more opportunity there is to be exposed to inappropriate content, cyber-bullying, online predators, or become a victim of Internet addiction. Children’s time on the computer needs to be monitored.

When this rule is put in place early on, there is little discussion about why.  It’s just where the computer belongs.

When there are older children in the house this rule is not so cut and dry.  You need to invoke the same parenting parameters when it comes to privacy in the cyber world as you do in the physical world.  Young children should NEVER be left at the computer alone while older children who respect the boundaries are afforded more responsibility and more privacy.

You need to always remember that we are applying the same parenting skills we use in the physical world when we parent in the cyber world.  As your children get older and become more responsible the rules can change. Why do we make kids wait to drive until they are 16?  They may be physically capable at 12 or 13, I wasn’t, I couldn’t reach the pedals even at 16, but that’s beside the point.

We make them wait because cognitively they are not ready for the responsibility that comes with taking 3000 lbs of machinery down a highway at 65 miles an hour.  But as they get older, and demonstrate their ability to make better decisions, we allow them more freedom.

Keep that in mind as you sit down and discuss YOUR expectations when it comes to responsible Internet use, we need to talk about the behavior and NOT just the technology!

4) STOP- BLOCK and REPORT Cyber-bullying. If your child is a victim of cyber-bullying you should encourage them to Stop- do not respond to the bully. Block- stop the bully from sending any more messages. Report- Tell you or another trusted adult about the incident. The victim, who in this case is your child, should print out the ENTIRE conversation and show it to you. That way you can help your child process the information and make the best decision about how to handle the situation. It may include having your child confront the bully face-to-face, calling the parent of the bully, or even getting the school involved. One thing to remember as the parent, the TECHNOLOGY IS NOT THE CULPRIT, it’s the person behind the technology.

Children report not telling their parents about cyber-bullying for fear the parents will take away the technology. It is important to remember the technology did not cause the problem.  Support your child and help them decide the best course of action in dealing with the situation.

5) Nothing good happens after bedtime!  And I am talking about your bedtime, not your child’s. The majority of Internet related problems I come across happen late at night after the parents go to bed and the children are alone with a computer or other device that connects to the Internet! Even the BEST kids make bad decisions. It is best to set up the rules about Internet use early and talk about them often.

We on the other hand are Digital Immigrant.  We are the generation of the “did you get my e-mail phone call”.  We send the e-mail…but then we pick up the phone and say, did you get my e-mail. We don’t trust technology the same way our kids do.

So what do we need to know as parents of these young digital natives?  It’s simple actually, they are still our children and parenting is parenting no matter if it is out on the streets or in cyberspace.

Throughout these tutorials I will help you better understand the technology, however I will always focus on parenting the behavior!  You will not need to become an Internet expert in order to have a well-rounded understanding of what your children are doing.  So don’t be afraid to dive in and begin understanding the world of the digital native!

The truth about the Internet

The truth about the Internet is that nothing is private and everything is permanent! You can divide the Internet into 3 areas, the semi-private, which includes e-mail, IM and texting, the public, which is SNS, youtube, forums, blogs and wikis, and lastly the secure area, places like shopping or banking online. The reason you do not see Totally Private on this list is because there is no such thing as total privacy on the Internet, not even with your e-mail or private facebook pages.

Paris Hilton discovered the truth about the Internet when Canadian computer expert Byron Ng hacked her private Facebook account to view her pictures.

A middle school student learned the truth about the Internet when she was suspended from school for uploading a video to youtube of a group of girls saying derogatory things about another school-mate.

A recent college graduate learned the truth when he didn’t receive an internship after an employer did an Internet search and found unflattering pictures and comments he posted online while still in high school.

The truth is that NOTHING is private online and once it is out there it is out there forever. We all need to understand that we are being immortalized on the Internet.  That small indiscretion if caught on tape can become your downfall and there is nothing you can do to reverse the situation.

When I tell you that NOTHING is private online I mean nothing.  Not even that private myspace or facebook account.  As Paris discovered, it didn’t take long for someone to hack into her page.  Although Facebook made immediate changes to their security it does not make it foolproof.

Your e-mails are brought to you by a service provider such as your school, employer, Time Warner, Yahoo, Goolge, or AOL.  Which means they are providing you a service to use their system.  They own it, and under the law they are entitle to read, store, and even attach advertisers to your account for direct marketing. Ever notice how the adds on google or facebook seem to be meant just for you? So how can we say this is private.

A friend of mine uses g-mail (owned by google).  One day she sent an e-mail to a friend in COLORADO about coming to visit. The next time she logged into google, she noticed ads for IKEA in Colorado… sorry friends, this is no coincidence.

Now the other truth about the Internet is that once something is out there it is out there forever.  You have to remember that E-mails, IMs, Text messages and postings on social networking sites are stored on a server somewhere.

In May of 2008 75 college students were arrested for dealing drug.  The DEA had solid evidence against one member of the Theta Chi fraternity from SDSU when he sent out a mass text-message to “faithful customers,” saying that he was traveling to Las Vegas and would not be able to make his normal cocaine sales.

On a smaller scale, where the authorities are not involved, we still have the issue of being immortalized with the simple fact that anything can be downloaded from the web and then stored on a desktop.

Almost every new computer today now comes with a built in web cam.   This is a video camera that can stream live video chats over the Internet.  Web cams allow people to talk across the world face to face for free.  The webcams have quickly become ubiquitous in the lives of teens.  They use the webcam for everything from studying with friends from school to making video messages to send to grandma on the other side of the country.  The possibilities are endless.  However, this new technology does not come without new problems or ways to misuse it.  Kids are using the webcams to expose themselves and bully others.  Predators are using the webcams to capture images and video of their victims.  There is a misconception that streaming video cannot be recorded without the person at the other end giving permission.  While in a perfect situation this would be true this is NOT the case.  Capturing images and recording the web conference is possible and is happenings more often than you would think.  It is important our children know this fact.  Anyone can take a screen shot which is a picture of what is on the monitor by simply pressing a key on the keyboard and there is software that lets you record what is happening on the screen as well.  Both of these can be done without the person at the other end ever knowing it is happening.

SO what do we do?  Stop using the technology?  Throw the computers out the window.  NO!  What we do now is make educated decisions about what we put online:

My rule of thumb is if you wouldn’t want it on the front page of the newspaper you don’t want it online!

Google yourself and your family members to see what you can find. Make sure your screen names, content and pictures of you and your family are appropriate and represent you in a positive light.

If you find something you didn’t post yourself, contact the webmaster of the site.

Talk to your kids about the truth about the Internet, they may not realize the potential consequences of their actions.

Children should not have access to the Internet after you have gone to bed.

All of their friends are there and it will give them an opportunity to practice their face-to-face communication skills!

Talk to your child about what it is to be a bully!  Remind them how they would feel if the group ganged up on them.

If your child is going to a sleepover talk to parents and ask about their Internet policies.  Don’t be afraid to ask these questions.  It is the same type of question you would ask if your child was going to the movies with another family, you would ask about that right, so you should be asking about this too.

Where are you going?

Who are you going with?

What time will you be home?

Do these look familiar to you?  Were you asked these questions as a child and as a teenager?  I know I was.  My dad didn’t let me go anywhere until he knew what I was wearing, where I was going, who I was going with, and what time I would be home.

If we’re going to ask these questions when our kids walk out the front door of our homes we need to ask these same questions when they walk out the front door into the entire world on the internet. The next four videos explain these questions in more detail, teaching you how to translate age old parenting questions from the physical world to the cyber world.

What are you wearing? = What is your Screen Name

What are you wearing? Translates to what are you putting out there about yourself?  This includes screen names, pictures, video and any other content in a public space. A screen name is how we indentify ourselves online.  You want to know how your children are presenting themselves online. Are they using a screen name that may attract unwanted attention? With young children we worry about screen names that give away too much personal information.  It is not safe for a child to use a screen name that gives away facts about them that an online predator may use to strike up a conversation. Take a look at our video on Where predators lurk for more information. With tweens and teens you also need to be concerned about violent or sexually explicit screen name that will draw unwanted attention from a larger audience. Screen names are often a way for young people to try on a few identities to see what fits.  Although this self-realization process is completely age appropriate it is risky behavior when your child begins cultivating online relationships with strangers.  Knowing your child’s screen names is like knowing what they wear when they leave the house.  These screen names as well as pictures, video and other online content will stay with your child forever.  Nothing ever leaves the Internet.  It’s different than when you and I were teenagers and decided to do something silly or even down right stupid.  Those actions were not caught by a cell phone and uploaded to the web for all to see!  We were not immortalized on youtube or facebook.

Kids today are putting themselves out there for all to see and you need to know what that presentation looks like. Remember these screen names, pictures and video will stick them forever.  If one day they may look back and think, WOW, I wouldn’t want an employer or possibly my children to see this, they shouldn’t post it on the web.

Where are you going? Translates to what sites are you on?

Where are you going? Translates to what sites are you on?

If you wouldn’t let your child walk out the front door without asking where they are going, then why would you allow them to wander the vast world of the Internet without asking the same questions. There seems to be a stigma attached to this question when it comes to online use.  Children feel that everything they do online is private.  But infact it is not! E-mails, IM and text messages are skimmed and stored by the Internet Service provider.  Facebook’s terms of service expressly state that they control the content on their site and Google even tracks their searches from its site.  So how is any of what they are doing online private.  It’s NOT!  What they mean is that it is private from you, the parent. Go back to your parenting skills that you use in the physical world.  As your son or daughter is about to leave the house and tells you it is none of your business as to where they are going, would you accept this answer?  If not, then why would you accept it about where they are going online.

Sit with your child and take a look at where they are going. You are there to show interest!  Set the expectations and put limitations on what it is they are doing. We do this all the time in the physical world. We set rules about where they can go, and what they can be exposed to. When they are young you keep a close eye on them, as they get older they are afforded more privacy and therefore more freedom, but we never stop asking questions.

Who are you going with? Translates to who is on your buddy list.

Who are you going with? Translates to who is on your buddy list.

The best way to keep you, your families and your identities safe is to only allow people you know in the physical world into your inner circle in the cyber world including on e-mail, IM and social networking sites.

When kids are gaming, IMing, or emailing, they have a list of online friends.  This comes in the form of an address book or buddy list.

Now, your children are looking to become FAMO (that is the term for Internet Famous) and to do that they need to have as many friends as possible!  This is NOT a good idea.    Let me explain why.  Just recently an attempt at an identity theft hoax was uncovered when someone posing as a high school student began friend requesting high school students saying he was going to be coming to their school after winter break and was new to the area.  He used a social networking site to get to know his new classmates.  Once he got one student to accept him as a friend all of the other kids fell in line accepting this imposter as one of them.  The identity thief was quickly able to gain their trust by participating in their high school banter, enough to get them to reveal personal information such as home addresses.  It wasn’t until after winter break, when the young man did not show up to the school did students become suspicious.   It came out that this was in fact a hoax and imposter.  The kids felt violated and the parents were concerned about their safety!

You need to know who their online friends are and how they know them.  Experts agree that children and adults alike should not have any online friends that they don’t know from their physical world. Online predators lurk in cyberspace looking to take advantage of people both young and old.  Some predators are interested in meeting children online, while others are look to steal your identity.

What time will you be home? = How often are you online and is it for school or for fun?

This one is really about Multitasking?  How much time is being spent at the computer and why?

Multitasking is quickly becoming ubiquitous in the lives of the digital native. Does this look familiar to you?  Your son or daughter is at the computer with 6 IM conversations going on at the same time as they are checking facebook, responding to an urgent text message, changing their Itunes playlist and doing their homework?  This is what they consider multitasking.  Tweens and teens believe that multitasking is the ability to do many things at once.  And I understand why they think that.  Let me explain.

Multitasking is the act of switching between tasks very quickly.  It the ability to move from one insignificant IM conversation to a text message to changing the music they are listening to. It may feel like they are doing all of this at the same time but in fact they are just doing them in rapid succession. I do believe they are able to do this. Just ask any teenage to demonstrate and they will gladly demonstrate their ability to multitask.

The problem comes when it is time to participate it what is called Higher Order thinking skills, like reading a passage, writing an essay or completing math homework.  In the simplest of explanations the brain uses a different area to make rich connections and process more complicated material.  When the kids are multitasking, that part of the brain is not engaged.  Therefore, the research has concluded that as of now it is not efficient to multitask while doing homework.  This is a really hard concept for a tween or teen to grasp because they are good at multitasking in so many other areas of their lives (including carrying on a conversation with you from the back seat of the car while texting a friend).

If we, the parents can begin to accept their version of multitasking and try and help them find where it works and where it doesn’t we will stop fighting the “technology battles” where we yell at them to turn of IM while doing their homework, and instead help them understand where multitasking is more efficient and appropriate.

I often challenge teenagers to try their homework differently. I will ask them to do it their way one night (with multitasking) and my way another night (turn everything off for 30 minutes and just focus on the homework, after that time they can take a break from the homework and reconnect with friends). Let them see what works best for them. They may find that a little music is helpful but IM is not.  This way you are coming at it from a time management perspective rather than a technology angle.  You may not win every battle but at least you’ll win the war!

With the help of The International Society for Technology in Education (ISTE) and The Consortium for School Networking (CoSN) congress finally realized that we need to focus on education rather than restriction.

I hope this new legislation brings to light that schools need to take the time to create thoughtful programs for students that speaks to this generation and parents begin to accept them as digital natives. We MUST accept the Internet is an integral part of their academic and social lives. We MUST shed light on the positive aspects of the Internet as well as the pitfalls in order to prepare them for the 21st century world.

As parents we must do our part as well and learn about the world of our children. Conversations at the dinner table should include social networking. Parents, it’s time to learn!

In a recent study out of UCLA 3 of 4 students reported being bullied online. The study explained that children were not willing to discuss the bullying with their parents for fear that their parents would not understand and instead would take away online privileges.

Treating JUST the technology is NOT the answer! Bullying has plagued children since the dawn of time. What we need to do is get in touch with our kids. Know what they know so that you can have an intelligible conversation where you are able to show real interest.

When I was a teenager I got my very own phone line in my bedroom. My dad was nice enough to get a phone cord long enough to reach from the wall jack (which was next to the door) all the way around the room so I could sit on my bed and talk on the phone. I loved having my own phone. I would spend hours talking to friends that I had just spent the entire day with at school. We never seemed to run out of things to talk about. I would skip dinner and ignore my parents. I shut my door and had my privacy!

My father got tired of fighting with me about my phone use. So one day I came home from school to find my phone cord had been changed out to a 6 six inch cord and my door was GONE! I was forced to sit on my floor, under the empty door jam, to talk to my friends.

I tell this story because I see the same parent-child struggle today. Same story different technology! We need to find a balance between privacy and well-being. When it comes to the Internet the most important thing to remember is that it is something we should learn to live with and not something we should try and stop!

The Internet is a fabulous tool when used responsibly. I love the fact that I no longer need to wait an hour on the phone or drive to the airport to buy a plane ticket. I love the fact that I have information at my fingertips 24/7. I love that I can easily share photo albums with my family all over the world. I love that I can see my friends on the other coast daily because of my web cam. I love to see social networking sites used to promote an up-and-coming band that never would have gotten their first album off the ground if it wasn’t for MySpace. I love that because of the Internet I can take a college course in my pajamas! The Internet only becomes a scary place when those who are using it become scary. It is not the Internet we should fault for the disparaging actions of our youth. Civility is a virtue that must be taught and used in both the physical and cyber realm.

It only takes 3 pieces of personal information for a predator to identify you on the web. An online predator is someone who seeks out victims on the Internet for either sexual or financial purposes.  They start by gaining access to personal information in order to either steal the identity of their victim or to find a way to connect with them.

Kids and adults alike give away personal information on the web frequently without even realizing it.  Any time you create an online account for e-mail, IM, a social networking site, banking online, or any other site that requires a log in, you give away personal information.  Most times this information is only seen by the web hosting group or advertiser, but non the less- your information is out there.

Recently a mother told me a story that she received a phone call from an old friend.  She was surprised that the friend had her number.  Her phone number and address are not listed anywhere that she knew of, however when she asked the friend, she found out that a simple google search provided the world with her phone number and address. I wish I could explain how it happened but I can’t.  There are too many variables.  But what I can tell you is the mother admitted that she has signed up for several promotions over the web in the last year and she freely provided the sites with her phone number and address.

Kids do this too!  When they want to sign up for a gaming website or download a new screen saver they provide the websites with all of their personal information.  They also have a tendency to provide strangers with facts about themselves unknowingly in chat rooms and on forum.

Although identity theft can happen to children as well we are more concerned with predators taking an interest in children and using the personal information to help them connect with the child.  When a predator is able to learn the name of a child, the school they go to or their likes and dislikes, they will use this knowledge to groom the child.  Grooming is the process they use to trick the child into trusting them.  A predator may contact a child and use the personal information to pretend to be someone they met, or a friend of a friend, or someone who has similar interests.  Anything to make the child believe they are a person who can be trusted.
The best practice to avoid predators is two-fold.  It starts with safe-guarding your personal information and ends with teaching your children to avoid contact with online strangers.  It all starts with creating a pseudo-identity.

A pseudo identity is a fake identity.  You start by getting a 2nd email address that is not used with friends and family.  This e-mail address is only to be used when you or your child is in public areas of the Internet.  Use a free service such as yahoo, google, hotmail, or mail.com.  It can be an account the whole family uses!  You create a new screen name that is something like sk49t2@yahoo.com.  Using a random string of letters and numbers that does not identify the user.  Then at the profile page, create an identity that is not your own or lead someone to believe their are talking to a child.  Use a generic name like Johnny Appleseed and say you are 100 years old. This way your child is putting space between their private lives and their public lives on the Internet.  With friends and family they should use their primary e-mail account.  But when they want to play an online game, or download something that requires them to register with a website, they now have a valid e-mail address to send the confirmation to without giving away personal information about themselves. This e-mail address should be transparent.  Sit down with your child and explain this 2nd e-mail account is not for the purpose of lying to get things they are not old enough to have but rather about protecting their identity.  If the whole family uses this e-mail address for the same purpose then you will not only be protecting your family’s identity but sending junk mail that accumulates when you register for things online to someplace other than your personal inbox.  It’s a win win situation!